Who i am

by Ian
(Virginia)

Their thunderous voices echoed throughout the house—so intense that they made the floors and walls vibrate. My sister and I remained upstairs cowering from the argument taking place. I remember constantly asking my sister if everything was going to be okay. She would try her best to answer me but kept stumbling on her words. We sat upstairs for a couple hours or so wondering when the argument would be over. At that moment in time, I had no idea how that particular argument and those arguments that would follow would change me into who I am today.

I was born in the beautiful summer on July 12, 1999. My early childhood was superb. I was privileged enough to have plenty of food on the table and plenty of vacations. Disneyworld, the beach, and amusement parks were frequent stops. Holidays were also amazing, Tonka trucks and Star Wars action figures lined the space underneath the Christmas tree. Many years went by, and without a doubt they were some of the best years of my life. However, as I grew older my parents’ relationship became heated. It seemed major arguments happened once every two weeks. Nonetheless, they tried to hide it from my sister and I to keep us happy. As time went on, my family set into an awkward stage where we had a hard time communicating with one another. I believe this happened because my sister and I knew something wasn't going right in our parents relationship but they would act like nothing was wrong. However, this awkwardness took a turn for the worse.

Week by week there seemed to be one argument after another. Until around 2008, when my parents decided they’d had enough of each other and split up. This completely flipped my world upside down. Before I knew it, my sister and I were switching between houses every week. Pointless arguments still continued between my parents during this time. I remember one time my parents were arguing about which clothes I could bring to the other house. Which completely baffled me because I was witnessing two “responsible” grown adults fight about what clothes their child could wear to the other house. As time went on and I got older, the arguments between them seemed to settle down. As I look back on those sensitive moments, I've noticed how they’ve changed me.

First of all, my confidence and personality has changed. When I was young, I was an outgoing, talkative kid. I made friends really easy and could open up a conversation with anyone. However, as I went through that tough time in my life, I became more shy and timid of people. This happened because I was afraid of opening up to people about what was happening in my life. Overall, I was really self conscious about what people would say about me. Still to this day I have a hard time communicating with people I don't know. Also, I hate getting into any type of argument. As I saw my parents fight and get torn apart by pointless arguments, I realized that I don't want my life to go down the same path. Many times I've had arguments with my parents. In certain cases, I just agreed with them to avoid an argument and the emotional pain that came with it.

Finally, as I look back on my life I've noticed a couple things. I have an amazing and loving family. Even though we went through a troubling time, my parents support me in any decisions I make. Secondly, I am completely happy with who I am today. People can't focus too much on how wrong or unhappy they were in the past. If I just focused on all the wrong that happened in my life I would be torn apart and reckless. However, I took all the sadness and wrong doings and learned from them. Making me who I am today.

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