The cascade of generations of divorces

by Janet
(New York)

I am the child of multiple generations of multiple divorces. Both of my grandmothers, who were born around 1900, were divorced twice. My mother was divorced twice, and so was my father. I'm not sure about my grandfathers; I think one was divorced twice.

I grew up thinking marriage was a bad idea, but my boyfriend was afraid of displeasing his parents, insisted on it, so we married. And divorced.

I became Christian, and realized that bad marriages didn't mean that marriages were bad. So I married an intermittent alcoholic. And divorced.

My younger sister refused to legally marry, but was "divorced" several times before finally officially marrying in her late 30's. She stays married because it is a good business arrangement (to quote her), but is divorced in her heart, and is waiting for her husband, who has a cardiac problem, to die.

Since my parents didn't get divorced until after I left home, you could say I am not a child of divorce. But then, my father made it very clear to my mother on their honeymoon that he would never treat her as a wife.

My younger sister is a child of divorce, and she is worse off emotionally than I am. She smiles and sparkles, and is extremely successful, but is also emotionally dead, and incapable of genuine love.

She did make sure her children had a stable home. Perhaps they will be the first members of our family in over a century not to divorce.

Please. Don't.

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