No easy solution

My mom needed to divorce my dad. He had been physically abusive for years. Eventually he committed adultery. While my mother felt totally betrayed, there was a part of her that was glad she finally felt no one could expect her to stay married to him. That was when I was 13.

Now I'm an adult, married with children of my own. My husband is a good man, but the idea of divorce is never far from my thoughts. I'm afraid he will leave me later for a younger woman, solution: divorce. There are times I feel so depressed about myself, and I don't want to have to drag him down, solution: divorce. There are times I'm so upset with him for not being perfect, solution: divorce. There are times I'm just tired of dealing with all the needs of taking care of a whole other person, along with my children, solution: divorce. My mom has managed to live pretty happily as a single mom.

I know divorce is nowhere near justifiable for me, but I fear that I just don't have the skills or personality to have a thriving marriage. I look at other aging couples, and see a lot of frustrations and incompatibilities. Can I endure that long? Am I that good of a person?

My only hope is through Christ, that He can change me, heal me. I'm impatient for the day that divorce won't linger in my thoughts so much. I wonder if this really is because I'm a child of divorce, or if I'm just weak.

I love my husband and my children, and the emotional violence of divorce is repugnant to me. And maybe that is the silver lining, that because I hate what divorce did to me, I don't want to do that to my children.

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Jun 23, 2014
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Pray instead!
by: Anonymous

I know this is an old comment, but in case you see it, or someone else does, when you feel yourself thinking of divorce, say a prayer or two instead. Since I am a Catholic, I turn to the saints to help me. Saint Monica, Saint Ann, and of course Mary and Joseph, the parents of Our Lord Jesus. But you can say any prayer, even as simple as, "Jesus, have mercy on me!" Just crowd out the thought of divorce and think of something kind and wonderful about your husband.

Feb 01, 2014
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you are
by: Anonymous

you can only heal yourself through realising who you truly are

Dec 15, 2013
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Same here
by: Mia

My dad committed adultery too

I know how yo feel

Aug 09, 2013
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You Can Do It, You Will Do It
by: Anonymous

In the 70's, years before I married, and when divorce was being "celebrated" as acceptable, I read someone's personal story. They said their commitment was to never say the word "divorce," to never suggest it as an option.

You are on the right track. With commitment, you will make it. There are always options for making positive changes in our marriages and parenting. We don't have to stay "stuck" in some problem. We can grow and change.

Yes - in marriage, as in all of life, Christ will accompany us on the journey. He is our refuge in times of trial. God bless you on the journey. You are a person of faith, courage and commitment.

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