My childhood life

by Anonymous89
(Malaysia)

i am the first child and the first daughter of the family. I have other siblings; two little sister and a brother. Since I am in my mothers' womb i have heard the stories about how my father treated us. Before I was born, my mother never gets what she deserve as a wife. My father always scold her or beat her up until she was weak on her knees. The beating continue after I was born and it gets more worse. He was a bad tempered man and a man who likes to beat his wife and child. Since I was born, I never felt my fathers' love towards me or my mother. He always thought that I can do anything by myself. I think that is how I became an independent person now. My mother never cares to much about me. She always have other things to worry about.Men and money. We never have enough money when I was born.We live in poverty. We also has to move around because my father always kept losing his job and making debts all around. He never learns how to be a good husband or a father I think. He told me that when he was born his father gave him to another family and since that he lives with that family but never feel the same. My mother however always blame my grandma for her misfortune events of marrying my father. You see the idea of them married were not agree by both parties.Only my father was eager to marry her. She has someone else back then. And my grandma was so easy to be fooled. So he fooled her. And they got married that way. It's then she knew his true color after he married her. Since I was a toddler I knew how to take care of myself. My mother fully trusted me with big things (she consider it like that). But I just go on with the flow and I did a few things by myself for first time when I was 5 years old. I walk back and go to school by myself. I even stay at home by myself when my mother needs to go out. When I was five I remember my father rarely at home. My mother said he went to play snooker with his "friends". So called "friends" my mother says were the ladies from the place that he always hang out at. He never gave us money to eat. Sometimes 2 or 3 days he just leave us without any money. There's one day that he left RM10 on the shelf and took it back. So we had no money and food. But at that time there were some rice left and a little bit of cinnamon.So my mother grind it and fried it with rice.My father always thought that I can handle myself. So when I was 8 years old. He and my father got divorce it is after my second little sister was born. It occurs that my father has beaten her up until she had to go to the hospital. Well, to be exact she was beaten with a mop pole until its broken into two. So afterwards, she got a divorce because of domestic abuse as they say it in the court room. My little sister can be said as "pampered" by mother. She got everything that she wants and she always cries a lot. She almost got thrown into the toilet bowl when she was 2 years old because she cries a lot. He always said that my youngest sister was not her daughter. I never knew why he said that. The fact that my mother was carrying his child for 9 months and gave birth to it and he is the only husband at that time gives a bump and confused why he always talked like that. And most of nights when she cries my father always yell at her and stuff pillow at his head so he could not hear her crying. When they were divorce my mother was the happiest person that day. She quickly moved to Johor and worked there and stay with a friend. She left us all behind. Well practically she left me and my little sister at our old house. So there we are. 8 years old child with her 6 years old younger sister. My youngest sister, the 2 years old lived with my grandmother. She was taken there by mother after she learned that she need to be outside of town because people always talks about our family a lot. You see, our neighbors were quite friendly and nosy. They also loves to talk about other people misfortune and always judge others. I don't like it. But I don't have any other place to go. So I just stayed there. Or stuck if I might say. My father doesn't know that my mother left us there for good. So he also practically stuck with us. Luckily I know how to cook. But simple cooking only. Fried rice, sardine, and few fried things. We stayed there for 2 years. I cooked and clean and take care of my little sister. Sometimes our father didn't come back so I just go to the opposite neighbor house and asked for food. Our neighbor, Mrs A. is quite nice, She is not like other neighbors. She always cook for us when fathers not around for few days. Where are my relatives? Well, that is the question now. After my father had the divorce and my mother left. No one would want to take us in. They say they have enough in their plate already. So I suppose if they take us, we will lessen for what they have. After a few talks around the neighborhood how Mrs. A gave us food and all my father left the town with us. But afterwards, he's heading to my grandma house and left us there. We never heard about him after that. So I live with my grandma and also go to the school there with my little sister. I thought we could be alright here.But soon as we go to school we acknowledge that everything was the same back the. People also talks about us here. So we just have to stand hold with it. My life as a child was not like any other. I have to work for my school you know. So every time I finish school I always go to back home and change my outfit and go straight to work. At that time I was 9 years old. I work washing dishes at the school canteen for evening school time. I got RM2/ per day as my payment. And I also got to eat the food there for lunch. I was quite tired but I am happy because I got my own money. I realize that I can make money now. So how to make more money? I collect garbage at school. I collect drink cans and newspaper and I tied behind my carrier and sell it to the grocery store nearby my house. It was fun and all until I was 10 years old my mother decide to come home and get back together with my father. I didn't know this but when I heard about it I was scared that everything will turn back like it was before. Not that I am not happy about it.It just that even back then, I knew if something was wrong. So I had to accept it whether I like it or not. My father has changed when he remarries my mother. He became more stingy and selfish. There is one day that I asked him to buy shoes for me. Not for fun.It was for school. I cried and was hurt. My mother was the same. She became more ill-tempered and always gone mad. I got C for my religion subject and she beat me with a buckle until my back was slash with it and I cried until i peed. She apologized after that. She says it because she was pregnant with my little brother. And not to my surprise, it happens all over again. The beating, the yelling.Now is because my father has another women. Her name was Ruby. She always been seen by mother friends flirting with my father. And my father the other way. This time, my father says he wants to marry her. And my mother cannot accept to my father marriage and asked for divorce. And they divorce for the second time. So after that, my father married Ruby and stayed with her. We didn't go to his wedding because my mother forbid us to. But neither my father never invite us. So it is now left me with my mother and my other siblings. My mother at that time wasn't quite sure what to do because she thought she could never live with us if she was all alone. And that's when my stepfather came. He was a widow with 3 other kids. Boys. They were all lazy and pampered. I stayed with my mother for 2 weeks after she married by then I ran from the house because my stepfather accused me for something that I never did.Stealing. So I ran from home and go to my father for help. At first I thought he will help me but then he scolded me and beat me. So I ran again and look for a shelter. As I come to my friends' house and stay with her for awhile until I got my SPM result. So after that I ran off to Genting and work there. Now I am a degree graduate and I am continuing my Masters. I got scholarships for my studies. Oh and I am married and happy. My parents? Well you can say that they live happily with their spouse and have more kids. I will gradually visit them once in a while when I am free. I still keeping in touch with my parents but sometimes when there are certain times that I can't forget this story and just cried.

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