Contraception in Marriage

Contraception in Marriage - What Every Married Couple Should Know

by Fr. Jason Smith at

Words are not the only way we communicate, the body itself speaks a language.

A smile is, for example, one of the most obvious and effective means of non-verbal communication. It is so important Dale Carnegie notes that:

The expression worn on your face is far more important than the clothes worn on your back.

Eye contact is another powerful means of non-verbal communication. We use phrases that show this such as 'He had that gleam in his eye', 'If looks could kill...', 'She gave an icy stare', 'He gave me the evil eye', or my all time favorite, 'He married her for her looks, but not the one's she's been giving him lately.'

Arms, legs, hands, eyes, posture—every part of our body communicates a message; but, to our point, it is within marriage where the body's most powerful means of language is found. Let's take a closer look.

On their wedding day spouses look into each other's eyes and verbally express vows saying they will give themselves completely to each other, without holding anything back, while embracing each other's life giving potential. What they express in words on their wedding day, they express in their bodies whenever they make love.

Almost every modern language refers to the conjugal act with the same expression: making love - and that is what it is meant to do. That great sharing between the husband and wife in love is meant to nourish, strengthen and increase the love between them and be so strong that this love might produce another human being, a child, who is an actual living example of that love and a means to increase their love together.

What happens then with contraception in marriage? What happens when this modern invention is inserted into the communication between a husband and wife making love? It changes it radically; in fact, we can say it makes their bodies lie.

In an act that is meant to be the physical expression and renewal of married love, contraceptives say something different:

"I want to have sex with you but I hold a part of me back from you. I don't want to give you what makes me fully a man or fully a woman, fully a husband and fully a wife."

In this sense the act of making loving becomes a lie at worst and at best far less than what it is intended to be: an expression of their unconditional love.

The lie of contraception in marriage extends further. Hormonal contraceptives for women were never designed to improve their health as the risk of side effects show:

  • premenopausal breast cancer
  • decrease in libido
  • weight gain
  • trouble with emotions and mood changes
  • blood clots that go to the legs and brains and can cause death
  • decrease in sexual attractiveness caused by infertility

All of these are things a loving husband would never want for his wife.

Not only are contraceptives unhealthy for the body, they are unhealthy for relationships too. Since the introduction of the "pill" divorce rates have doubled.

Pregnancy can be avoided while respecting the language of the body. We are not always obliged to "speak." In fact, sometimes love demands that we remain "silent." A love that knows when and how to remain silent is a powerful and unconditional love.

The fruit of this is seen in couples who practice Natural Family Planning, where the divorce rate is at less than 4%. Perhaps this is because it helps couples to live the truth of what sex is: empowering, unifying, life-giving, renewing, freeing, a gift, and the foundation of married life.


Contraception in Marriage - What Every Couple Should Know

Return to the home page: Contraception in Marriage

Share this page:

Inspiring People
to Defend
the Marriage Ecosystem

Our goal is to help everybody think about marriage in a new way, from a holistic, organic, and natural perspective. This perspective supports a free society for all, including future generations.

Personal reasons for marriage (such as love) are valid as personal reasons, but they serve as a poor foundation for public policies about marriage.

Donations from people like you help defend the ecosystem of marriage! Your tax-deductible donation gets you:

  • Our weekly e-newsletter, packed with information about the marriage movement
  • Our printed educational mailings, designed to keep you updated on important developments regarding marriage
  • Donations of $100-$999 receive our Ambassadors Packet, packed with educational materials about marriage, freedom and society.
  • Donations of $1,000 or more become Friends of Ruth and receive all of the above and more!

Donate at our main website,

Click here to donate

What are others reading?
Top pages are:

1. Part 5 of the Libertarian Case for Man/Woman Marriage: Marriage Laws & the Proper Role of the State

2. Part 3 of the Libertarian Case for Man/Woman Marriage: Gay Marriage Facts

3. Our page about Preserving the Ecosystem of marriage

4. Our page about how contraception harms the marriage ecosystem

5. Part 1 of the Libertarian Case for Man/Woman Marriage, Definition of Marriage

Marriage Ecosystem
Around the Globe